Tiger Apologizes, Has Sex With Podium, Camera, Green Room Couch

Tiger Woods has so much money he couldn't possibly spend it all if he was started the charitable foundation, Gold Yachts For Drug Addicts. Everywhere he goes incredibly hot women try to have sex with him. OK, yes, he's married. If he's going to have sex with lots of women, he shouldn't have ever said "I do" (or had a kid). But marital infidelity is the only problem here.

The other day on ESPN (excuse: I was at gym) Scoop Jackson said, and I'm paraphrasing, 'I want Tiger Woods to say he is truly sorry for what he'd done but that isn't enough. He has to want to make real change in his life.'

Tiger Woods certainly owes his entire family an apology. If he wants to remain married to his wife he owes her somewhere in the neighborhood of a billion apologies, and one of those gold yachts wouldn't hurt either. But he doesn't owe Scoop Jackson shit. He doesn't owe me shit, and he doesn't owe you shit. He doesn't owe his fans shit, and he doesn't owe the companies that marketed him to us shit. If he wants to sleep with more women than Wilt Chamberlain, that's his (and the women he sleeps with) business.

This is a whole lot of manufactured moral outrage. The problem with Tiger's behavior is he's married, but it seems that problem may cease to exist soon enough. If Tiger wants to break Wilt Chamberlain's record, that's his business and ESPN, the fans, the newspapers, and everyone else should butt the hell out.

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