Dear Wenus-Breath,
How is your butt? How about that salt 'n pepper hair? Those rugged, I've-just-been-over-here-knock'n-some-trees-down-with-this-here-axe/my-face-has-been-sat-upon-by-four-too-many-defensive-tackles looks? How's things looking with your Vikings, eh? I heard not too good. First there's that whole got-yr-ass-kicked-by-the-Carolina-Panthers thing. Yeah, that has to hurt. I mean, they suck. And they just crushed you. Crushed. You know their quarterback, Matt Moore? I'm pretty sure he tried to sell me a Saturn last Thursday.
Then there was that whole "WAH WAH WAH I DON'T WANNA LEAVE THE GAME!!" hissy fit you threw at Head Coach/Chief Mustache Model Brad Childress. That was classy. But hey, you got your way, right? I'm pretty sure the score was 7-6, Vikings when you got all that sand up your cooch. So how'd it turn out. 26-7, Panthers, huh? So, I guess your pissy-pants act didn't really help the team much. Nope, instead your 50 year old ass got twelve hits closer to incontinence. Its OK though, I hear they have NFL logo colostomy bags now, so there's something to get psyched over.
But back to your ego fit. You know you're like a billion light years old, right? Do you not realize that the Vikings are a pulled groin (your own) away from going to the playoffs with Tavaras Jackson at quarterback? That's Tavaras Jackson. He's the sixth Jackson. The one who got beat out by Tito for the last spot in the Jackson Five. And he's gonna be your starting quarterback in the first playoff game after you rip out your cock by waiving it around too much. So, lets see, should we sit our Sanskrit tattooed ass on the bench for two quarters against Carolina, or should we risk fucking the entire season in the asshole with a dismembered goat penis?
While you're pondering that one, I've got another one for you: The Packers are coming for you, you O-L-D-E fuck. You think the football gods are going to let you get away with jumping ship to your biggest rival just because your panties are in a bunch? Never. The football gods will smite your filthy pooper with the anger of a thousand drunken Browns fans wearing contact lenses with pictures of Art Model on them. So you have that going for you. Which is nice.
Then there was that whole "WAH WAH WAH I DON'T WANNA LEAVE THE GAME!!" hissy fit you threw at Head Coach/Chief Mustache Model Brad Childress. That was classy. But hey, you got your way, right? I'm pretty sure the score was 7-6, Vikings when you got all that sand up your cooch. So how'd it turn out. 26-7, Panthers, huh? So, I guess your pissy-pants act didn't really help the team much. Nope, instead your 50 year old ass got twelve hits closer to incontinence. Its OK though, I hear they have NFL logo colostomy bags now, so there's something to get psyched over.
But back to your ego fit. You know you're like a billion light years old, right? Do you not realize that the Vikings are a pulled groin (your own) away from going to the playoffs with Tavaras Jackson at quarterback? That's Tavaras Jackson. He's the sixth Jackson. The one who got beat out by Tito for the last spot in the Jackson Five. And he's gonna be your starting quarterback in the first playoff game after you rip out your cock by waiving it around too much. So, lets see, should we sit our Sanskrit tattooed ass on the bench for two quarters against Carolina, or should we risk fucking the entire season in the asshole with a dismembered goat penis?
While you're pondering that one, I've got another one for you: The Packers are coming for you, you O-L-D-E fuck. You think the football gods are going to let you get away with jumping ship to your biggest rival just because your panties are in a bunch? Never. The football gods will smite your filthy pooper with the anger of a thousand drunken Browns fans wearing contact lenses with pictures of Art Model on them. So you have that going for you. Which is nice.
Eat me,
mattymatty
.
1 comments:
Ha, I get it....he is old
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