Washington Nationals Notebook: Nobody Cares Edition

You may recall that a week ago I began chronicling the Washington Nationals, the Worst Team in Baseball Since 2003*, and their fifteen game trip through the best division in baseball. A brutal slaughter was imminent, I thought but, sadly, it never materialized that way.

Lets take a listen:

Three games at Tampa: Swizzity-swept.
-Things are going to script so far. Lousy team on the road takes on one of the best (if not the best) team in baseball, and loses all three.

Three games at New York (AL): Nats lose first game, but take advantage of annual Thrills Instead of Pills Week when all pharmacies in New York close to win next two.
- Pitching has been DC's problem this year, but in this series, they held the Yankees to two runs over the last two games, and not surprisingly won both. Also not surprisingly, the NY tabloids went apeshit.

Three games vs. Toronto: Nats win first two, drop last one.
- Returning home from what can only be described as the best 2-4 road trip of all time, the Nats take two of three from a team that could be in the playoffs if it were in the NL. Unbeknownst to them, but knownst to us, this creates a small rip in the space-time continuum, causing it to rain menstrual blood on southern Greece.

Three games vs. Boston: Nats get crushed in the first two games before winning third in a route.
- Unlike the '03 Tigers, the Nats actually have some guys who can hit. They beat up on a returning-from-injury John Smoltz and the usually sound Red Sox bullpen in the third game, for which I had a front row seat. Ever been heckled by a Nats fan? It's straight embarrassing. Kinda like losing a race to a cripple. One actually said to me, drunken anger dripping from his voice, "It's pretty sad when you have to worry about us!" The circular nature of his insult was lost on him. In any case, the 2-5 of their lineup (Nick Johnson, Ryan Zimmerman, Adam Dunn, and Josh Willingham) is surprisingly pretty damn good. Sadly, not one of 'em can pitch.

Three games at Baltimore: Lost the first game of three last night, 11-1.

5-8 for a team with a .276 winning percentage going in against the best division in baseball, well that's not bad at all. I mean, it's bad, but considering the context, it isn't. Kinda gives you some smidgen of (false) hope for the Nats going forward. Of course, if they're smart** they'll trade those middle-of-the-order guys for prospects who will be around whenever they get their pitching staff straightened out, thereby torpedoing themselves over the last two months.

They're on schedule to lose 114 games so 120 losses, one more than the '03 Tigers, still isn't out of the question. Go Nats!***

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*When the old Washington Senators played at Griffith Stadium in the first half of the 20th century, Washingtonians used to say Washington was, "First in war, first in peace, and last in the American League". So, you know, this has been going on for a while.

**I realize this is a dubious proposition, but go with me for a minute. Trading any and all of those 2-5 in their lineup, assuming they get someone young, cheap, and useful in return, would allow the team to improve for the long term, where they theoretically have a shot at winning something, and would carpet bomb the rest of their season, guaranteeing them the first overall pick next year and Bryce Harper.

***By which I mean, please, keep sucking.