Ranger-POOOAST!!!in' while the Ranger-POOOAST!!!in's good

Some 6 weeks ago I propounded the inane theory that the Texas Rangers could contend for a playoff spot this season, while noting that the three division leaders in the American League were Toronto, Kansas City, and the Rangers.

Well, Toronto and Kansas City are each now closer to last place than first place in their respective divisions, while the Rangers are still (tied for) first in theirs.

However, no sooner had the NHL and NBA seasons ended -- thus beholding us to baseball spectating for the next two months -- the Rangers took an absolute nosedive. They're 2-7 since hockey season ended. Meanwhile, the Los Anaheim Angels are 8-3 in their last 11.

The current trajectories of the Rangers and the Los Anaheim Angels are so different, they may as well set up a Jokey Martling routine -- the Rangers are the guy plummeting toward Earth, asking, "Hey, do you know how a parachute works?" to the Angels as they hurtle into the sky and reply, "No... Do you know how to light a gas stove?"

So we here at T!!! are going to thank the Rangers for a promising 42.6% of a season -- Tied for first place after 69 games? Sold! -- stop deluding ourselves, and take stock.

Something resembling an actual staff ace has emerged from the rotation in the form of Kevin Millwood. For perhaps the last time, indulge me: There is no better player to have on your team than a Scott Boras client in his contract year. Millwood isn't striking anyone out, but he's logging a ton of innings and isn't allowing many baserunners (1.22 WHIP). Can a trade back to suddenly pitching-starved Philadelphia be in the offing as the Rangers regress back toward the pre-season projections proffered by people much smarter than I? (Think somewhere around 68-94.)

Josh Hamilton can't stay on the field. Brandon McCarthy's shoulder is orbiting Mars. Vicente Padilla is no worse than a 50/50 bet to show up at Nolan Ryan's compound half-crocked and set the place on fire. But the real turd in the proverbial punchbowl* is Chris Davis.

(*Okay, the turd is also proverbial.)

Or, specifically, the fact that the Rangers can't delete from their everyday lineup a first baseman who is batting .196 with a .252 OBP and has struck out 102 times in 225 plate appearances.

Plaschke paragraph: 102 K in 225 plate appearances.

Max Ramirez might have been an option there, but he's been laid up with a bad wrist in AAA, though he's back now. Furthermore, Hamilton's injury depletes the pool of outfielders among whom a suitable 1B can be fashioned, such that I have heard multiple people (professional ballwonks and otherwise) suggest that Andruw Jones play there.

Andruw Jones? Really?

My suggestion is that the Rangers call up David Ortiz and get Davis some of those magic eye drops* that turned Big Papi from a carcass back into a comic-book hero. Sumbitch just hit another homer!

(*"Tha Rizzoids." See if that poisonous idle speculation shows up on yer Google search, will ya?)

The organization still has a waist-deep pool of quality prospects, and notables such as Blake Beavan and Justin Smoak have already earned in-season promotions in the minors. So the arrow is still pointing up. It's just pointing at something further away than it looked a month ago.

Still, though, the Rangers appear closer to contention than the two other weakings in the AL West, Seattle and Oakland. The Mariners can't hit a lick -- without Ichiro, they would be the worst offensive team in modern baseball history -- and nothing the A's are trying seems to be working.

(No matter how smart and resourceful Billy Beane is, MLB front offices have made such strides in the past decade that there are no longer "blind spots" in the market he can reliably exploit. And the final outcome of Beane's tenure -- should it end any time soon -- may be that the A's weren't particularly good except when they were anchored by two steroid-addled monsters, Jason Giambi and Miguel Tejada.)

So, some goals for the rest of the season in Arlington:

1) Hamilton's health, with an eye toward the long term.
2) Millwood's, Jones', and Hank Blalock's health, with an eye toward this year's trade deadline.
3) No "Frank Jobe surgery" for the franchise's pitching prospects.
4) Padilla not turning up in a Nicaraguan prison during the All-Star break.

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