A Message From Friend Of TOOOAST!!! Ryan Leaf

[The other day I opened my email and I had a message from Ryan Leaf. THE Ryan Leaf, I asked? Absolutively, he said. He told me he had recently fallen on hard times and was a big fan of the site and wanted to know if he could address all the TOOOAST!!! fans. I said sure. He said, "You're awesome, little dude!" So, uh, here ya go.]

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Hey friends! Ryan Leaf here. I'm totally stoned right now! LOL!!! No, just kidding ;) Thanks to mattymatty for letting me get my message out. I read TOOAST!!! all the time, so I'm a big fan. I was really going to join the NHL picks pool but then something got in the way. Anyway, I gotta make this kinda quick cause, well they don't fuck around here in Randall County, Texas. They'll execute you for jaywalking! If you get enough of 'em! For serious!

Anyway, y'all may have heard about my recent, um, troubles. I just wanna say three things about all that:

1) GOAT SEX!!! Ha ha! I love this site!!

2) I'm being framed! Thats the hard core truth, dudes (and dudettes)! You gotta believe me. But I don't have any money to defend myself. I'm a huge fan of TOOOAST!!! so I was hoping you all could help me out. I don't need much cause I have this awesome friend I met over email. He's the Sultan of O'qar or something like that (I'm terrible with maps!). Anyway, he said if I send him a couple thousand bucks he can turn it into a couple million, no questions asked! AWESOME!!! So of course I'm like Sign Me Up, Raghead! And he was like Awe'somq or something like that, who the hell knows, but dudes, if y'all can send me a little cash, I can make it go a looooong way. Once I'm back on my feet again, I'll hold a football clinic or something for y'all. It'll be balls to the wall, man. I'm talking strippers, titties, free jager shots, the whole deal. So I told mattymatty that if anyone wants to help out (PLEASE!!!) then they can contact him (toooast.com@gmail.com) and he can give my email address out that way cause I don't want any dumb spam mail or whatever.

C) I never was any good at counting! LOL!!