So, I'm watching the Red Sox/Mets game last night. It's a great pitching match-up (in theory), with Johan Santana facing Daisuke Matsuzaka. I'm listening to the Red Sox announcers, Don Orsillo and Dennis Eckersley. Usually Jerry Remy does color on Sox games, but he's out recovering from lung cancer (get well soon, Remdog!). Eckersley had just started doing studio work for NESN (the regional sports network which covers the Red Sox in New England) but he's stepped in as a color commentator on the live broadcasts since Remy got sick.
During the game Santana hit Kevin Youkilis in the right elbow with a pitch. With the camera on him, Youkilis said (but you couldn't hear him on the broadcast), "Shit, that hurt!" But we'll come back to that in a second. So, apparently Santana doesn't feel that Youkilis tried hard enough to get out of the way and he made his displeasure with Youkilis known. Youkilis said something back to Santana as he was going down to first base, then the umpires stepped in to make sure that nothing got out of hand (it didn't).
So Eckersley and Orsillo are going through the replay and parsing all this out. Eckersley sort of goes into a protracted and not-very-helpful straight narration of the replay, and gets a bit caught up in it, going so far as to read Youkilis' lips:
Because I think it's frigging hilarious, here is a transcript:
Eckersley: and he doesn't really get out of the way, it's that back elbow, if you think about it it's not that far inside, and he sort of... looks at him... shit...
Orsillo: ... the 0-1... it's fouled off and it's 0 [starts laughing] and 2...
Eckersley: Never mind. We'll just forget about that.
As soon as I saw that I questioned what I had heard. Fortunately, MLB.tv has a DVR function, so I simply rewound and watched it again.
Eckersley: and he doesn't really get out of the way, it's that back elbow, if you think about it it's not that far inside, and he sort of... looks at him... shit...
and again...
Eckersley: and he doesn't really get out of the way, it's that back elbow, if you think about it it's not that far inside, and he sort of... looks at him... shit...
Well, short story long, in watching this over and over (and watching the Phillies dismantle the Yankees) I completely missed yet another gem from Eck, this one even funnier than the first:
There is no need for a transcript here, Eckersley simply refers to Red Sox pitcher Justin Masterson as, and I fucking quote, "Masturbate."
If I was drinking milk it would be coming out of my nose. Of course you realize that now I must purchase this:
Note: Better (but less embedable) videos of both are available here.
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