It's been a billion years since my last poooast, but in reading Rick Reilly's most recent column on espn.com about University of Connecticut center Hasheem Thabeet, I came across a single sentence that so infuriated me that I had to go public.
Get ready, because this beauty would make even Skip Bayless leap out of his chair and stroke himself in admiration:
"On most any day at UConn, Ucan see The Beast in the Student Union quad, eating lunch, surrounded by 12 to 15 students, all of them giggling. He absorbs everything, a kind of SpongeBob Tall Pants."
Holy shit on a stick. Can you possibly get more pseudo-clever cutesy than that? I bet Reilly, immediately after crafting that piece of fool's gold, sat back and looked over at his mirror in self admiration. "You still got it baby! That Simmons ain't got shit on you Riles."
For that single sentence alone, Reilly needs to be escorted by security guards out of his office, his laptop melted down, and led to a small single pilot space pod and fired randomly in to the Earth's outer orbit. Forever.
2 comments:
SpongeBob GoatAnus is funnier, but, in the words of a great American, that's a low bar to jump over.
Has anyone mailed it in as hard as he has lately. He's turning in to the sports Andy Rooney.
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