Saget: Hello, and welcome to Disrespecting the Game! I'm your host, Bob Saget. Welcome to the game, where the object is to disrespect the game as much as possible! Today, we're joined by our latest contestant, Gaylord Goatcabin. Mr. Goatcabin, if you recall from last time, had passed through the first stage, and was on his way to...
Crowd: Disrespecting The Game!!
Saget: Ha ha! Right! OK, Mr. Goatcabin...
Goatcabin: Please, call me Gaylord.
Saget: Alright, Gaylord, when we last left off it was time for our Lightning Round!
Crowd: [applause]
Saget: OK, remember, Gaylord, you're going to have four different ten second increments in which to disrespect the game as much as possible. Our judges will give you up to ten points on the spot for each increment, depending on how disrespectful you are. Are you ready?
Goatcabin: You suck, Saget! You are the lousiest game show host ever to walk the planet!
Saget: Not yet, Mr. Goatcabin. I'll give you the signal.
Goatcabin: Oh, sorry.
Saget: OK... ready... give me ten seconds on the clock...set... GO!
Goatcabin: Fuck you, Saget, and fuck this game!
Audience: [applause]
Saget: Four points on that! Go!
Goatcabin: [pulls out a magic marker, draws star on the floor, stands over it and points at the sky] Eat that, bitches!
Crowd: [applause]
Saget: Six points! You'll have to do better than that! GO!
Goatcabin: [runs over to Saget, removes pants...]
Audience: Ewwwwwww!
Saget: Whew! That's pretty disrespectful! Eight points! You have ten more seconds... GO!
Goatcabin: [puts hockey stick on the ground, stands over it warming hands, pretending it's hot.]
Saget: AAAHHHHH!!!! [grabs hammer, hits self in head until he collapses in pool of blood]
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