"Clutterbuck (MIN) sets NHL record for hits in a season (317)"
Hits? Hits are not an official statistic recorded by the NHL. Every team's in-house official scorer counts up however many hits he feels like assigning to each player on the home and visiting teams, then scribbles them down on the scoresheet.* In fact, there is nothing to prevent some other NHL team from crediting one of its players with 500 hits -- or 5,000 -- next season, dwarfing this wholly pointless record. We could end up with an imaginary arms race: "I have the most magic beans!" "Well, next year I will have even more magic beans!"
There is no official description of what a "hit" constitutes. Brushing against an opposing player? Sticking out your knee and taking a tripping call? Do the Wild credit their players for hits that occur after the whistle? (There's nothing preventing them from doing it.)
Here's the thing about hits: They're the one quantifiable thing of which a team being outplayed will accumulate more than the team doing the outplaying. It's a bone thrown to the fans -- at least my guys are trying hard. You've seen the scoring summaries in the intermission reports -- "the Wild are outhitting the Red Wings 17-8 through two periods..." -- if you're outhitting the other team, it means the other team has the puck more than you do. And you're almost certainly losing.
So congratulations to Cal Clutterbuck for taking out more aggression at being part of a mediocre team than any other player. And for fitting 317 (and counting!) angels on the head of a pin.
*Yes, I know he broke the "record" in a road game. He probably did actually have 7 hits at the Garden last night. But who knows for sure, is the point.
Why does this have a Sean Avery tag? Here's a shot from last night:
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1 comments:
I think Sean Avery smells like poop.
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