Alex Rodriguez has been putting his foot in his mouth (and wearing excellent sweaters) since he started playing baseball professionally in 1994. Despite not talking to the media much, during that time he's said a lot of dumb shit. Like that time he denied ever eating a Junior Mint. Ha ha! That was so stupid!
In light of recent events, TOOOAST!!! would like to present a quick look back at some of the best of A-Rod:
1998 - Hey, everyone! Look at me! I'm best friends with Derek Jeter! Whoopee!!
2001 - Derek Jeter isn't that good. Other Yankees are much better.
2002 - I would never eat a junior mint. They are not delicious.
2001-Present - Derek Jeter doesn't like me any more... waaah waah
2004 - I have always wanted most of all to be captain of the Texas Rangers.
One Month Later - I have always wanted most of all to play for the New York Yankees.
2005 - The capital of Nevada...? Nevada City!
2007 - I never took steroids! Never never never never never yes i did it never never never!!
2009- I took steroids, but I didn't know what they were. I thought they were tic-tacs.
2009 (same day) - I knew we weren't taking tic-tacs. I thought we were taking junior mints.
2009 - Selena Roberts is a stalker. 2009 - Kevin Costner's best work? I would have to say "Water World."
2009 (next day) - Selena Roberts is not a stalker.
Last Week - I am having hip surgery.
...The Next Day - I am not having hip surgery! You are!
...Two Days Later - Ow! My hip!
What will the next nine years of A-Rod's contract bring us? Only A-Rod's handlers, publicists, and agents know for sure.
3 comments:
A-Stooge just says whatever Boras wants him to and the only reason it looks like it's A-Puppet talking is because Boras' hand is up his butt, moving his mouth.
"Boras' hand is up his butt..."
Boras does have a high tolerance for bullshit.
I forgot one:
2007 - "I'm gay! Look at meeeee!"
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