Flyer Beat Caps, Endanger Health With Many Cases Of Pre-Packaged Snack Cakes

The Philadelphia Flyers, in a never-ending quest to acquire as many shrink-wrapped snack cakes as possible, scored four goals against the Capitals on Tuesday night, defeating Washington or something. To their delight, for each goal the Flyers' scorers received a case of Tastykakes.

Further research by Toooast!!! revealed that just about all Tastykake products contain a shockingly bad nutritional content. Take "Chocolate Juniors" for example. One Chocolate Junior contains 12 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of which are saturated. Horrendous! That is 17% of your daily saturated fat intake in one Chocolate Junior. According to the Tastykake website, a case contains "24 family pack boxes (4 individually wrapped packages per box, 1 cake [their spelling] per package)."

Doing the math, one case of Tastykake Chocolate Juniors contains 96 cakes for a grand total of 336 grams of saturated fat per case. The Flyers top scorer, Jeff Carter, has 36 goals on the season, which means he has eaten 36 cases of Tastykakes containing 12,096 grams of saturated fat!

According to the National Institute of Health, "Eating too much saturated fat is one of the major risk factors for heart disease. A diet high in saturated fat causes a soft, waxy substance called cholesterol to build up in the arteries. Too much fat also increases the risk of heart disease because of its high calorie content, which increases the chance of becoming obese (another risk factor for heart disease and some types of cancer)."

Twelve thousand grams of saturated fat over a five month period is, well... it's too many. As a Caps fan I hope the Flyers have a good secondary scorer because if he keeps scoring goals at this pace Jeff Carter will soon be dead.