Its been a while since I wrote about Matt Millen. September in fact, right after he finally got his ass canned for taking what was a professional football team and turning them into a giant bucket of shit. Well, Millen may be gone, but the Lions team/bucket of shit he assembled lives on, like how a chicken with its head cut off keeps running around in circles spewing blood guts and shit all over the place before falling down, shaking, and then taking one final projectile diarrhea shit before dying. Sorta sounds like Don Orlovsky.
Much like that chicken, Millen's crowning achievement may come after his (professional) death, as he has assembled a team that has a shot at the worst single season record in pro football history*. Yes, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers of 1976 finished 0-14, but fourteen ain't fifteen. And next week, the Lions have a shot to solidify their own little slice of football immortality against Green Bay at Lambeau Field. In December. At Lambeau Field. In Green Bay. Against the Packers. In Green Bay. BWAAHAHAHAHA!
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Regardless of what happens next week, right now the Lions are 0-15. I'm going to write that one more time and see if you can get your head around it: 0-15. That's fifteen loses in a row with nary a win betwixt.**
Being the worst at something is as difficult to achieve as being the best. If ever a team deserved to have their asses crowned Dennis Green-style as the worst of all time, it would be these Lions.
I hope next week at 1:00pm EST, Matt Millen places his soon-to-be-crowned ass into his barca-lounger at his home in Pittsburgh. I hope he has gathered with him a tub of popcorn, a gallon jug of Old Grandad whiskey and a trash bag large enough to fill with a tubs worth of vomited up popcorn and whiskey. What a shitheel.
Let the ass crowning begin!
*The 1976 Tampa Bay Bucs were 0-14, but since there were only fourteen games in an NFL season at the time, they were unable to lose that fifteenth in a row until 1977. Which they did. In fact, the franchise lost their first 26 games in a row before they managed to beat the New Orleans Saints.
**Sorry, just got a bit of the Olde English there.
1 comments:
The Lions are already on their way to further failure -- they've promoted a new team president and GM who were on the staff under Millen. If any organization ever needed a clean sweep, it's this one.
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