Sunday, November 30, 2008

Theres No Shooting Yourself In The Leg In The Champagne Room

Toooast!!! now presents a list of things that will have to happen if the Washington Redskins (7-4) are going to beat the New York "Honkey Fart" Giants (10-1) today:

1. Giants leading receiver Plaxico Burress shoots himself (accidentally or on purpose)
2. Eli Manning miscalculates potency on 'Schroom-urday Night', is stranded on chair in middle of living room fearful of 'carpet sharks.'
3. Antonio Pierce hides Burress' gun
4. ...in own asshole
5. Head Coach Tom Coughlin suspends Head Coach Tom Coughlin for showing up three minutes early for pre-game meeting. (Three minutes early in Tom Coughlin Time (12:05AM GMT) is actually two minutes late.)

Two down, three more to go!

2 comments:

mattymatty said...

crap

Snizza said...

You forgot:

Gummo Manning's clock runs out and he turns back in to pig entrails.

Stephon Marbury joins the Giants and is caught boning Coughlin's daughter in an Escalade in the Giants Stadium parking lot.

Andy Reid joins the Giants coaching staff.