The Reactionary Redskins Fan: Week Eight

[The Reactionary Redskins Fan appears weekly throughout the NFL season. As a lifelong Redskins fan, mattymatty will chronicle the ups and downs of the Washington Redskins' season. His pain, swearing, loss of dignity, accidental defecation, and eventual divorce is your gain. Enjoy!]

Last Sunday, the Washington Redskins won the eighth game of their season against the Detroit Lions by a score of 25-17. Their record currently stands at 6-2.

SIX AND TWO? SIX AND FUCKING TWO? FUCKING SIX AND FUCKING TWO? HOLY SHIT! I HAVEN'T SEEN A REDSKINS TEAM THIS GOOD SINCE I WAS LEARNING ABOUT MY SEXUALITY WITH THE VACUUM CLEANER! DETROIT LIONS: FRENCH FOR 'ROAD FUCKING KILL!' THE LIONS HAD AS MUCH OF A CHANCE IN THIS GAME AS I DO WITH MY PARISH PRIEST!... wait... bad example. THE LIONS HAD AS MUCH OF A SHOT IN THIS GAME AS I DO TO SURVIVE FOR MONTHS OFF NOTHING BUT THE MUNG UNDERNEATH THE REFRIGERATOR!... wait... bad example. MOVING ON: DON ORLOVESKY? I THINK I SAW THIS FUCKING GUY ASKING "CREAM AND SUGAR?" AT THE NEIGHBORHOOD PORNO THEATER! HE'D GET MORE SPIRAL ON THE BALL IF HE THREW IT SIDE-ARMED FROM HIS ASSHOLE!* THE LIONS ARE THE DEFENSIVE EQUIVALENT OF A WHORE'S VAGINA!

NEXT WEEK THE STEELERS SHOW UP IN RALJOHN TO BE REPEATEDLY RAMMED BY 90,000 PLUS DONGS! ONE AT A TIME, PEOPLE, GODDAMMIT!

*may not technically make sense.

[The Reactionary Redskins Fan's opinions are his own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of other Toooast!!! authors, blogger.com, or our sponsor, John McCain For President, whose fabulous policies help make people happy. Don't forget to vote! Black people on November 3rd and White people on November 4th!]