Hold me once the drugs are done...

I feel like flying.

I just discovered Lil Wayne's sports blog on espn.com. It's not nearly as crazy random as the xanax-fueled lyrics of "I Feel Like Dying" (his most underrated tune by far) but I felt the need to spread a few of his nuggets around. I don't have his tats or marble-mouthed delivery, but I do agree with a few of his razor-sharp analyses.

So, Mr. Wayne, sir, the World Series just ended last week...

Gotta give a shoutout to the Fighting Phillies before we move on. Cole Hamels, you the man. You shut them batters down. I don't know what happened to the Rays starting pitchers. It seemed like in every inning they couldn't get past the first two hitters. Evan Longoria missed that series.

What more do you need?

Hey Lil, how 'bout some NBA juice?

Greg Oden is a bust. He's gotta show me something, man. I don't get it. At what point in time was he dominant? I've never seen it. You've never seen it. Maybe NBA officials know something we don't. That's all I can figure. Maybe somebody on that staff has seen something we haven't. But until he shows me something, I'm gonna declare him a bust. Damn shame, too.
Damn. Harsh. But Mr. Carter tells it like it iz.

Hey Wayne, you watch football right? What'cha know?

T.O. still looks like he's about to cry. It's getting ugly in Dallas, man. They're in last place now in their division? This is a disaster.

Hell ya!

Man, you do watch a lot of sports. What if none of your 10 TVs on your bus or plane have any football or NBA on?

If there isn't a college football game or an NBA game, right now I'd watch hockey. I'd watch hockey over an awards show*.

My man!

*An "awards show?" Pussy.