The Reactionary Redskins Fan: Week Seven

[The Reactionary Redskins Fan appears weekly throughout the NFL season. As a lifelong Redskins fan, mattymatty will chronicle the ups and downs of the Washington Redskins' season. His pain, swearing, loss of dignity, accidental defecation, and eventual divorce is your gain. Enjoy!]

On Sunday, the Washington Redskins won the seventh game of their season against the Cleveland Browns by a score of 14-11. Their record currently stands at 5-2.

• THAT PAIR OF USED UNDERWEAR THAT YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND GAVE YOU THAT YOU'VE HIDDEN UNDER YOUR PILLOW FOR EARLY MORNING SNIFFS
  
• YOUR BACK-UP BOTTLE OF DOCTOR BONER'S EXTRA STRENGTH 48 HOUR DONG CREAM (NOW WITHOUT SCALING!)
  
• SIX CASES OF GENESEE CREAM ALE
  
• A COUPLE PACKS OF MONKEY JERKY
  
• A MAP OF THE EAST COAST (PREFERABLY ONE WITH PORNOGRAPHIC PICTURES OF ANIMALS)

GRAB ALL THAT SHIT AND THROW IT INTO YOUR '73 VALIANT, AND HIT THE FUCKING GAS CAUSE THE REDSKINS ARE GOING TO TAMPA BAY, BITCHES!!

[The Reactionary Redskins Fan's opinions are his own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of other Toooast!!! authors, blogger.com, or our sponsor, Middle American Monkey Meat, Inc., whose fabulous products help make people happy. Whats for dinner? Monkey Meat!]