[The Reactionary Redskins Fan appears weekly throughout the NFL season. As a lifelong Redskins fan, mattymatty will chronicle the ups and downs of the Washington Redskins' season. His pain, swearing, loss of dignity, accidental defecation, and eventual divorce is your gain. Enjoy!]
On Sunday, the Washington Redskins won the fifth game of their season against the Philadelphia Eagles by a score of 23-17. Their record currently stands at 4-1.
ITS TAKEN ME A FUCKING WEEK TO GET OVER EATING MY OWN SHIT AFTER REPEATEDLY BEATING DALLAS IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE BUTT OF A SHOTGUN, BUT GODDAMMIT I'VE FUCKING DONE IT! [BLEAAAAAHHHH!!!]
HOLY SHIT, THE REDSKINS ADMINISTERED YET ANOTHER BRUTAL BEAT DOWN, THIS TIME AGAINST A TEAM LED BY A WHINY CRYING DOUCHE BAG OF A QUARTERBACK! "MY TEAM IS BETTER WAAH WAAH WAAH, EVEN THOUGH WE WERE ESSENTIALLY PRISON RAPED IN OUR OWN HOUSE WAAH WAAH WAAH. ALSO, DID I MENTION WAAH WAAH WAAH?"
[prepare for actual football insight] EAT MONKEY SPUNK YOU PIECES OF GARBAGE!! WE RAN IT UP, AROUND, THROUGH AND OVER YOUR GAY ASSES, WHICH WERE WEIGHED DOWN BY GALLONS OF BABY BATTER!! FUCKING SHIT!!
NEXT UP ON THE ANNIHILATION CHECKLIST: THE ASS RAMS! BREAK OUT THE MULTI-PRONGED DILDO, CAUSE ITS TIME TO WIN A FOOTBALL GAME!! YOU CAN'T STOP THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS, YOU CAN ONLY HOPE THEY DON'T CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE TO YOUR ANAL CAVITY AFTER ITS REPEATEDLY RAMMED BY THEIR COLLECTIVE GIANT BLACK PENIS!! HOLY FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK!!
[The Reactionary Redskins Fan's opinions are his own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of other Toooast!!! authors, blogger.com, or our sponsor, The Wholesome Granola Company, whose fabulous products help make people happy. Wholesome Granola: For the very best breakfast of your life!]
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1 comments:
The next few weeks of the Skins schedule looks like a coked-out gangbang for the Skins. The Rams, Lions and, fittingly, the Browns, will all be unwilling recipients of the multi-pronged black monster of the Skins!!!
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