That sure didn't take long. The National League's best team over the regular season and prohibitive favorite to get to the World Series bowed out in three games last night to a team featuring Ned Colletti as general manager. [Warning: Platsche paragraph coming]
Yeesh.
Some might say this is the inevitable outcome of riding a pitching staff that is over their heads and were due to come back to earth. Some might say that once matched up in a best of five format that forgives having a crappy end of the order and doesn't necessitate a deep bullpen, the Dodgers were just as good as Chicago.
Nope. There is only one explanation for this. The Black Steve Bartgoat has struck again.
Let me explain. In 1843 a man named Steve Black was roaming the fields where Wrigley Field was later built with his Goat, "Pinella." It was evening and there were no street lights at the time, so he didn't see a black man named Black Man come up behind him, hit him on the head with the world's first aluminum baseball bat and then brutally sodomize him until he died. But just before he died he is said to have yelled, "If ever a baseball team is to play here on these fields, they will will be cursed to play with the quality of my bloody anus!" Then Pinella deficated on his face.
So the moral of the story: The Cubs will continue to lose playoff baseball games as long as the playoffs are so short and their pitching staff doesn't throw well.
Also that whole goat anus thing.
0 comments:
Post a Comment