[The Reactionary Redskins Fan will be a weekly feature here at TOOOAST!!!.com throughout the season. As a lifelong Redskins fan, mattymatty will chronicle the ups and downs of the nascent National Football League season. His pain, swearing, loss of dignity, accidental defecation, and eventual divorce is your gain. Enjoy!]
The Washington Redskins lost their first game of the season to the New York Giants last night by a score of 16-7. Their record currently stands at 0-1.
HOLY SHIT! WHAT A FUCKING TERRIBLE HIDEOUS HORRENDOUS PERFORMANCE! THE OFFENSE SUCKED GOD DAMN SHIT THROUGH THE ANUS OF A DEAD DONKEY! THE HEAD COACH SHOULD BE EXECUTED BY GAY SEX! THE OFFENSIVE STAFF SHOULD BE CASTRATED, THEN BEATEN WITH THEIR DISMEMBERED DONGS! THE OWNER SHOULD BE ANALLY VIOLATED BY A RETARDED MOOSE! THE ENTIRE FUCKING DEFENSIVE LINE DISPLAYED THE INTESTINAL FORTITUDE OF MY FUCKING CORNHOLE SHITTING UP A GODDAMN STORM AFTER 27 BEERS! THEY AREN'T AS GOOD AS THE RUNNY DIARRHEA DRIPPING OUT MY ASSHOLE! I HAVEN'T SEEN A WORSE GAME BY AN OFFENSE SINCE FRANCE'S COUNTERATTACK IN 1940! THIS TEAM IS A BUNCH OF SHIT-EATING RETARDS! WE'RE FUCKED!! SHIT!!
[The Reactionary Redskins Fan's opinions are his own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of other Toooast!!! authors, blogger.com, or our sponsor, General Electric Corporation, whose fabulous products help make the world a better place. GE: bringing good things to light! ]
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1 comments:
Gay sex may be far too enjoyable a punishment for these fucktards. Thankfully, as a fellow Skins fan, I was spared the eye gouging that "enjoying" that game on television due to another commitment. However, judging by the uninspired tone of Statler and Waldorf, I mean, Sonny Jorgensen and Sam Huff, we're not in for a good year.
Just remember skins fans, "Relentless Optimism".
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