BMFS Returns... To Gay up Ur Interwebs!

It's been so long since I posted, I forgot how to log into my own goddamn blog. Anyway:

1) Phils face big test, pass

With a 5-3 victory today at Wrigley Field, the Philadelphia Phillies salvaged a split with the National League's 800-pound gorilla, the Chicago Cubs. They remain 1 game behind Los Mets de Nueva York.

While not a resounding success -- hey, it's just a split -- the series provided some evidence that the Fightins can at least hang with the NL's elite. If not for their usually solid bullpen burping up a few big hits, it's a series they could have swept -- they had the lead in the 6th inning in one loss and the 8th inning in the other.

Chad Durbin -- who had been reminding us recently that he is, in fact, Chad Durbin -- pitched beautifully for 2 innings in Sunday's game, giving up only a broken-bat seventeen-hop single, which ended up as a run on his ledger because of -- drumroll please -- the proverbial doot in the Phils' bullpen punchbowl.

Ryan Madson is one of those guys who looks like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest every time I see him pitch. But a cursory perusal of his statistics -- 1.29 WHIP, 3.56 ERA* -- indicates he's been fairly effective. He was abysmal in his two appearances in this series and his inability to throw strikes anywhere than the dead-center of the plate tainted Durbin's oustanding performance Sunday.

*I'ma tell you this so you'll know: ERA is a worthless statistic for relievers. If you give up a couple of baserunners and you're relieved by Brad Lidge, your ERA isn't going no-place. If you're relieved by Ryan Madson, your ERA is going to make like the little mountain-climber on that "Price Is Right" game. Let the yodeling commence!

2) ManBearPig doesn't know it yet, but he'll be publicly cursing the Brewers 1 year from now

As recently pointed out on firejoemorgan.com, CC Sabathia's ironman routine on the mound for the Brewers has brought out all sorts of primitivists bleating about how their favorite team doesn't allow its ace pitcher to throw 9 innings and 135 pitches in every effective outing. Here is why, dummy: Your favorite team has an eight-figure stake in the long-term health of its best starting pitcher; the Milwaukee Brewers do not.

And here's where the ManBearPig comes in:

(Aside: I'm currently viewing the Angels/Rangers game, which is noteworthy in no way other than the fact that home plate umpire Bill "My Mustache Tells You I'm in Charge Here" Hohn has been following players and coaches all over the field and starting verbal confrontations with them, then proceeding to eject them. Both managers have been shown the gate, and now Rangers catcher Gerald Laird has been sent off. This has got to stop. In the rare intelligent words of Larry Bowa, "no one paid fifty bucks to come out here today and see you run people.")

Back to ManBearPig:

As we all know, it's bad for baseball when the Yankees miss the playoffs, as they shall this season: it means your team ain't signing any free agents this offseason. They're all going to the Bronx as a result of a cutthroat one-party bidding war.

The Brewers have 26 games remaining, of which Sabathia (currently at 210.1 IP) will likely start five. With the Brewers extremely likely to make the playoffs and mandated by MLB rules to avoid the Cubs in the Wild-Card round in that eventuality, and Sabathia completing virtually every game he starts and starting every day he's available, ol' Carsten Charles is on pace to throw at least 250 innings this season and as many as 300.

Sabathia's dominant performances and the subsequent plaudits by the baseball media's old-guard wretches are sending his free-agent price tag into a district in which only the Yankees can afford the rent. And although Sabathia has been durable throughout his career while shouldering pretty heavy workloads, there's only so much tread on each player's tires.

So if Sabathia throws 300 innings for the Pennant-winning Brewers this season and his pinstripes-clad left arm falls off next season, why should anyone in Milwaukee care?

3) Arizona gets a shipment of enriched Ecksteinium; rest of NL cowers in terror

I absolutely hate it when a writer refers to something as "delicious" that is not food. But I'm pretty close to doing it myself here.

The Arizona Diamondbacks have imported David Eckstein, the man made of pure grit and hustle and dirt-doggery (and snips and snails and puppy-dog tails), to play second base in place of the injured Orlando Hudson. Recall that they recently also acquired Adam Dunn, the man made of pure nonchalance and dreams of playing in the NFL, to play left field. In short, the same team now employs both the most overrated and the most underrated position players in the Major Leagues. And they're going to make the playoffs! So lots of dumb jerkoffs are going to write about them! And talk about them on TV!!

I just ejected Bill Hohn... in my pants!

I don't know offhand whether there are any legendary primitivists who cover the Diamondbacks, but the teams from whence the fiery, intense Eckstein (.712 OPS) and the cold, donkey-like Dunn (.911 OPS) came are covered by two cadavers propped up on dusty Smith-Coronas: Richard Griffin of the suitable-for-only-pet-housebreaking Toronto Star and Paul Daugherty of the Cincinnati Enquirer. They'll surely weigh in with their insight before long.

Oh, I can't wait. Let the stupid fly!

Back tomorrow with a treatise on fantasy drafting with Cowboys fans.

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