There's no way I can add to the hilarity of this post from Hockey, Football and Stiletto Shoes blog. The author has just discovered the new Tampa Bay Lightning Girls* -- what ISN'T new about the Lightning these days? -- and the serious sports fan in her is superfuckingpissed that they are flaunting what their mamas gave 'em at, of all things, a hockey game.
You really have to read the whole thing, but here are a few of her gems:
If they're there to raise the morale and spirit in the arena, then maybe someone can explain to me how giving all of the pubescent boys in attendance a unison erection boosts home-crowd intensity.
A "unison erection". Wow. Imagine the power! It could be like when the Death Star destroyed Alderaan: all the erections in the arena pointed in one direction at the same time and unleash their collective fury on the enemy. "Thanks Fluffers, er, Lightning Girls! We couldn't have done it without you!"
If you go to the website you can meet the ice bitches.
Meet Karen. At 19 years old, Karen is barley legal (But she IS legal, so boys, you have the green light). What does the picture of Karen laying in dryer lint or whatever the fuck that is have to do with hockey? I don't know, but look, tits!
Tits. Tits are good.
This chick is a serious Penguins fan, and she may just be taking her anger out on the fact that there aren't enough hotties in Pittsburgh to field a Pens Ice Chicks squad.
Digging in to her blog, I found that she even wrote a post about Canadian Football.
I've got my eye on her...
*By the way, isn't the fact that they somehow found 10 strippers that could ice skate, in Tampa, pretty remarkable?
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5 comments:
Between your hotel and the nearest bus stop you can find 10 strippers in Tampa. You ever been to Tampa? It's like the triple-A leagues of the San Fernando Valley (read: porn).
I thought this post was gonna be about Murray Chass's "blog"...
Oh, and what the crap is "barley legal"? I had some beef barley soup the other day -- am I in trouble with the law?
Hey, finding the strippers is the easy part, but getting them to actually be able to skate is another thing entirely.
I'm pretty sure "Strippers On Ice" at the Wachovia Center during hockey season will force the Flyers to go on a 70 game road trip.
Can I just say thank you for finding the humor in my post? I was expecting to get some crap for this one, but damn. You should have read the hate mail. For the record, I'm not as angry as a bitch as I appear. I just have the Lewis Black sense of humor. Thank you for the link, and by the way, the blog is awesome.
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