All due respect to NHL free agency, but the real news -- or "poopy," in the Matty parlance -- in the sports world is that Will Leitch has abandoned deadspin.com for the Bissingerian realms of "legitimate" journalism.
Obviously, this has left me in a tailspin, and unable to post.
But I'll try, with some NHL notes:
Dumbest rumor of the week: Brendan Shanahan returning to New Jersey. How in the hell does any story involving the Devils signing a high-priced free agent pass the sniff test?
And take heart, NHL fans: your team didn't acquire Joni "Pepperidge Farm" Pitkanen.* The Carolina Hurricanes did. Fantastic trade for Edmonton -- I would rather have a physically fragile Erik Cole than a mentally fragile Pitkanen, who will be perpetually overpaid because he was a top-5 draft pick. How-EVAH: if the 'Canes managed to rehab Sergei Samsonov's career, maybe this will work. It's amazing what playing in total anonymity will do for a marshmallow-brained player.
In other news, it's OK to hate the Colorado Avalanche again! They've signed the NHL's preeminent gutless puke, Darcy Tucker.
*He's a turnover factory. Waka waka waka!
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4 comments:
the title of NHL's preeminant gutless puke has to go to Sean Avery, not Darcy...
Is Matthew Barnababy still in the league? If so, he gets my vote.
We win! Dallas has the preeminent gutless puke!
And we used to have Barnababy too!! Eff us.
Barnababy got concussed outta the league.
And that guy is right - Avery is a bigger gutless puke. I've been holding past transgressions against Tucker. Since he found his scoring touch, he's been less of a jagoff.
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