For the first few months that Brett Hull and Les Jackson have been co-General Managers of the Dallas Stars, it seemed that every move they made was golden, including the trade deadline deal for Brad Richards that ended up propelling the team into the Western Conference Finals against Detroit. The Stars had turned a corner and had finally shed their image as playoff pussies and were ramping up to make a serious run at the Cup next season. The city of Dallas was excitedly behind the team and their newfound gritty, “whatever-it-takes” style of play and truly likeable roster.
SCCCRREEEECH!!! CRRRAAASH!
That was the sound of the Brett Hull-driven Dallas NutzBus as the former Ambassador of Fun lost control of the wheel of restraint and signed former roommate/teammate, *known turtle and object of open hatred for Stars captain Brendan Morrow Sean Avery on Wednesday.
"I don't think it's just me, it's our leadership group, but there are things here that we will talk about,'' Morrow said. "We feel we have something special going on here and we feel we are a good team. And I have no problem with what he does as a player or how he works hard or gets people upset. But some of the stuff that makes the individual more important than the team, that's not something we want to see here.''
Other than that, no problem, eh? But hey, it only took a 4 year, $15.5 million, limited no-trade contract – one that put Dallas firmly against the salary cap ceiling -- to get the biggest buffoon in the entire hockey universe to climb aboard. By “limited”, I’m sure it means he can only be traded to cities with the fashion glitz that the Vogue intern needs to survive (L.A., New York…and…?). I can’t wait for next season when, during a lengthy stay on the injured list, Avery gets in tight groove with the higher-ups at Neiman Marcus in Dallas and forgets the real reason he’s in town -- you know, to play professional hockey – and the Stars will be powerless to move him.
So thanks Brett and Les (if you also played a role in this, I haven’t read or heard a quote from you about this deal) for making the rising Dallas Stars in to the biggest asshole team in the L.
So thanks Brett and Les (if you also played a role in this, I haven’t read or heard a quote from you about this deal) for making the rising Dallas Stars in to the biggest asshole team in the L.
*By the way, the unrepentant homerism that Bob Miller, and especially Jim Fox, spew on this clip is truly nauseating.
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Avery to Brian Heyward: "You're a horsesh*t broadcaster and you were a horsesh*t goaltender!"
Heyward: "How would you know, Sean? When I played, you were in your third year of eighth grade!"
Upon further review, Miller and Fox weren't that bad. Avery's hit on Kariya was a borderline penalty, and when Hordichuk hit Avery, it looks like he caught him in the face, which caused Avery to go down. By the time he regained his senses, he was already being pummeled and he couldn't have safely got to his feet. But when Fox starts hinting that the league needs to get involved with that play, that's when he turned into a moron.
My lifelong disdain for Miller and Fox blurred my senses there. But still, Fuck em. And Avery.
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