Wednesday, June 18, 2008

More Bad News for the Orioles... And This Time They Don't Even Deserve It

Monday night I was watching a bit of the Astros/Orioles game on TV -- mostly to bask in the beauty of Oriole Park at Camden Yards and chuckle to myself over the fugazy-fleet pitching staff Ed Wade has assembled -- when new Oriole franchise centerpiece Adam Jones came up to bat. Given that I'm involuntarily elbow-deep in Cowboys nonsense on a year-round basis here in Texas, it occurred to me, "hey, 'Adam' is the given name of Pacman Jones, that festering boil on the ass of professional sports."

Then, a mere 36 hours later, by total coincidence, this: Pacman now wants to be referred to as Adam, even though no one has ever called him that in his entire life, even his momma.

And given how yours is a household name as long as you have the Big Blue Star on the side of your helmet, if this "Adam" thing goes through, the Orioles outfielder could win 10 straight batting titles and will still forever live in the shadow of one of sports' all-time bad apples.

"There was nothing wrong with my name until after I got traded to Baltimore. Then that crazy-ass West Virginia strip-club addict signed with the fuckin' Cowboys and changed his name!"

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Postscriptum: Today the door fell off my refrigerator. Just felt like it merited mention.

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4 comments:

mattymatty said...

"There is nothing wrong with that name."
"There WAS nothing wrong with it, until that no-talent ass-clown started winning grammys."

Snizza said...

Actually, the REAL Adam Jones plays guitar for Tool. That's all I could think of when, after his female friend was tossed from a building in NYC, Adam "Pacman" Jones, declared that he was to be referred to as Adam.

mattymatty said...

The REAL Pacman can kill ghosts after eating power pellets.

mattymatty said...

*Sorry to hear about your refrigerator door.