It's Level VIII in the BSG's renowned "Levels of Losing" column. And tonight we're looking at the biggest one since Game 7 of the 2004 ALCS. (Tonight, starring Martin Biron as Kevin Brown!)
For five games the Flyers dutifully patched the levee holding back the mighty River Ovechkin and still couldn't close out the series... and now it's given way. You can't spell "It's Over" without O-V. No doubt, this one has the makings of a Cechmanek/Esche/Belfour-on-cough-syrup blowout. And we've established that the Flyers tend to lose elimination games by no fewer than six goals.
Since there's no way I could possibly defend the gutless performance of my team of no-account choking pukes, I'm resorting to Plan B:
Personal attacks!
(Or: Plaschke Paragraphs!)
After the Caps' double-OT loss in Game 4, Matty was a hair's breadth away from charging into Finnegan's Wake in his Caps jersey and challenging six off-duty cops to a fight. He waxed eloquent of his pain and sorrow after the loss, beautifully tapping into the, oh, three or four years of emotional agony he endured between becoming a Red Sox fan and seeing the Sox win the World Series in 2004. Of course, six weeks earlier he wouldn't have recognized Dave Steckel if he showed up at his apartment in full uniform.
If you're that desperate for an emotional outlet, go back to rooting for the Orioles like you did for the first 25 years of your life. Choad.
If the Caps win by more than two goals tonight, I'm breaking out Matty's high-school poetry in this space tomorrow.
Go Flames Go!
(Note. -- I already feel kinda bad about poisoning the well here on what's been a terrific series, in all honesty. The intensity level and physicality have been at full-tilt levels, but there's been a shocking absence of cheap-shottery. Notice the home crowds booing the visiting team's best player, rather than the guy who's been sticking out his knee every time the home team's best player skates by? That guy doesn't exist in this series.)
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