Its 2pm, do you know what your pet lemur is up to? You don't? Well, as long as it isn't attacking former major leaguer Shea Hillenbrand's kid, then theres no prob... really? Uh oh...
Not only was Hillenbrand's son attacked by a pet lemur (as if that wasn't weird enough), but theres a recording of the subsequent 9-1-1 call. I'm at work, so I can't listen to it (no problem posting on this stupid website, though), but I'm going to take a stab at how that call went:
911 Operator: 9-1-1, Hello.
Hillenbrand: Help! My son is being attacked by a... uhh... umm...
Operator: A what, sir?
Hillenbrand: Ya know, to be honest, I'm not sure. It looks a bit like a monkey...
Operator: Like an orangutan?
Hillenbrand: No, no... not that big. But it is kinda orange-ish. It looks like, um, a...[laughs] Ya know, I'm not sure. It kinda looks like a cross between a mini panda bear and a little asian guy.
Operator: Does it have orange tufts of hair?
Hillenbrand: Theres definitely orange fur, but with all the blood and skin flying around, its tough to say.
Operator: Huh... well, I'm stumped.
Hillenbrand: Yeah... Oh well. Hey, thanks for your time.
Operator: No problem. Have a good day.
Hillenbrand: You too. Bye
Operator: Bye.
Hillenbrand: [hangs up phone] Shit.
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My mental picture of this is not far off from "Raul's Wild Kingdom" from "UHF."
No word yet on whether the lemur was hired to perform this attack by Blue Jays Manager John Gibbons.
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