One member of the Calgary Flames is already red hot ("That, sir, is the gayest pun I've ever heard" -Razor).
Longtime Keenan whipping boy Kristian Huselius placed a $300 bet on a horse race in Sweden...and won ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS! (aka six million kronor).
Hopefully he didn't empty the Flames' mojo account with his gambling triumph and they still have plenty of good vibes for tonight's game.
While we're on the topic of bad puns, it seems that the Flames-Shark series is a veritable goldmine for the growing throng of Bayless-wannabes. Check these babies oot:
-Sharks mount toothless attack
-Sharks on the menu
-Feeling the heat
-Situation gets flippered
-Shark players tankful for home ice.
-Flames not fin-ished.
And this, from noted hockey writer George Johnson, is cartoonish:
Recent history informs us that the San Jose Sharks are infused with all the wanton bloodlust of Charlie the Sunkist Tuna. Whenever that moment of gut-oozing, spine-snapping annihilation arrives, the chance to sink those powerful jaws into soft, warm flesh and indiscriminately rip, tear and devour, they tend to go all vegetarian.
The Sharks let another big catch wriggle off the hook Sunday night, and for their folly will be forced to go fishing in dangerous waters one more time.
Sorry for making you throw up in your lap. Somewhere, Slip Bayless is nodding approvingly at his screen.
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2 comments:
Old hacky sportswriting line: "He won a million US dollars, which exchanges to $6.37 Canadian. Waka waka waka!"
New hacky sportswriting line: "He won a million Canadian dollars, which exchanges to $6.37 American. Waka waka waka!"
Keep up the good work.
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