Does not the mountain need the storm? Does not your chin need testes?

Award winning former newspaper executive Mike Wise weighed in on last night's Flyers/Caps tilt.

And you know what? That's not a set-up for a punchline. It's a pretty decent column. Mad decent, even. Some highlights:

"The Caps' postseason slogan: 'Rock The Red.' The Flyers? 'Vengeance Now,' which comes across as less of a slogan and more of a sequel to Charles Bronson's 'Death Wish'."

And:

"It's almost impossible to fathom, but the Capitals took the ice in front of a building as loud as Verizon Center last Friday. The fans wore orange instead of the Capitals' red, and many of the women and children looked as if they could work security for Megadeth."

This, plus admitting the Caps are one of the league's meal tickets and wondering if Tim Donaghy can skate, referring to Riley Cote as a "stumpy rogue", actually researching something on HockeyFights.com... all good stuff.

But two things continue to distract me:

1. The Capitals train in a place called Ballston (!!!!).

2. If there is anyone whose press photo begs more loudly for a pair of shiny plastic testicles upon its chin, I surely haven't found him. I mean, look at this:

I think he needs Tha Nutz just as a counterweight to offset that jaunty little tilt of his head.

But for now, we shall congratulate him for a column well written.

Tell you what, though -- if I lived in Ballston, I'd be rockin' Tha Nutz on my ride.

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